I Hate You, Don't Leave Me
by kalijahrulez
Summary: After one year together, Jasper contemplates leaving Katherine because she refuses to open up to him. Katherine knows that if Jasper knew about her past, his view of her would change. Really short one-shot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, the song, or anything like that. All I own are my thoughts. **

**Just a short one-shot I thought of when I was listening to Demi Lovato's new song **_** I Hate You, Don't Leave Me**_**. I think it describes really well how Katherine probably feels when she gets too close to someone, given her tragic past. Basically, Katherine and Jasper have been together one year and he is still trying to get past all of her walls. Part of her wants him to know about her past, but a bigger part of her knows that he could never love her if he did because no one else ever could, and she doesn't want to be alone. Please enjoy. (:**

**Song lyrics are in **_**italics**_**. **

_I hate you, don't leave me_

_I feel like I can't breathe_

_Just hold me, don't touch me_

_And I want you to love me_

_But I need you to trust me_

_Stay with me, set me free_

_But I can't back down_

_No, I can't deny_

_That I'm staying now_

_'Cause I can't decide_

_Confused and scared_

_I am terrified of you_

Bi-polar. That has to be it. That's the only explanation that makes sense to him. One minute she's happy, talking about their future. Then the next, she becomes cold and distant. One year they have been together, and he still feels as if he hardly knows her. There is so much that she keeps from him. There is so much he doesn't know, because she doesn't know how to tell him. He approaches her slowly. Her back is turned to him and she hides her face. Sometimes she feels like if he looks into her eyes too long, he'll see the truth. He'll see **her**. Not the strong, fierce woman she shows the world. No, she's terrified that he'll look too deeply and see the broken little girl that lives within. The naive, fragile girl who loved deeply and trusted too easily, the girl that saw too much evil, the girl that she can never be again...

_I admit, I am in and out of my head_

_Don't listen to a single word I've said_

_Just hear me out before you run away_

_'Cause I can't take this pain_

_I hate you, don't leave me_

How can someone so out-spoken be so secretive? She has an opinion on literally **everything**. Yet, when it comes to her past, she is as silent as a feather drifting through the air. He knows not where she comes from, how old she is, what her family was like, how she became a vampire, if she ever loved anyone else, or even if she truly loves him. He wants to believe she does, but he doesn't know how to tell. She says that she does, but could it just be because she doesn't want him to leave? He's thought about it, once or twice. But she stops him every time. She touches his face, stares at him with her big brown doe eyes, kisses him gently, whispers words of love, and he stays. She knows it's wrong, keeping him in the dark. But she thinks it's better for him the less he knows. However, he disagrees. He presses and presses, and she hates it. She hates the questions, she hates thinking about it, and sometimes she even hates him.

_I hate you, don't leave me_

_'Cause I love when you kiss me_

_I'm in pieces, you complete me_

_But I can't back down_

_No, I can't deny_

_That I'm staying now_

_'Cause I can't decide_

_Confused and scared_

_I am terrified of you_

She considers telling him one day, about everything. They are walking through a park and they pass two little boys throwing a baseball back and forth. She is reminded of her child, and starts to tell him about her, but then she realizes that one story would lead to another and as much as she wants to tell him, she doesn't want to lose him. She knows that someway, somehow, he'll find out. But not right now. Right now she wants to believe that ignorance is bliss. He thinks she's perfect, or at least as perfect as someone he hardly knows **can** be. She doesn't want to ruin that. She doesn't want to tell him that his perfect girl is anything but perfect. It's better for both of them. In reality, his perfect girl has been dealt her fair share of blows. She has faced death, betrayal, and she has had her heartbroken. But for every blow that life dealt **her**, she fought back **ten times **harder. Leaving a trail of death and destruction behind her.

_I admit, I am in and out of my head_

_Don't listen to a single word I've said_

_Just hear me out before you run away_

_'Cause I can't take this pain..._

He sees the pain in her eyes when she thinks he isn't paying attention. He sees, but he can never understand. He doesn't know that there is an ancient hybrid hunting her, he doesn't know that she has lost every single person she has ever loved, he doesn't know that her life and freedom were stolen from her, and he doesn't know why she keeps her heart so heavily guarded. He only knows that he may never know. If he were to cut her heart out of her chest, he would see more cracks, bruises, and cuts than anyone could ever imagine. She can only hope that one day she won't have to be afraid of telling him. Maybe ten, twenty, or even a hundred years from now she will tell him, and he will understand. But then again... What was that they say about hope? It breeds eternal **misery**.

_I'm addicted to the madness_

_I'm a daughter of the sadness_

_I've been here too many times before_

_Been abandoned and I'm scared now_

_I can't handle another fall out_

_I'm fragile, just washed upon the shore_

_They forget me, don't see me_

_When they love me, they leave me_

She tells him that he doesn't need to know about her past, because he is her future. He tells her that he wants to know her, **really **know her, and the past is what shapes us into the people we are today. She knows he's right, but it changes nothing. He can never know that she can't fully love him. He can never know that five-hundred years ago she gave her heart away, and it still belongs to Elijah. He can never know that she has probably killed hundreds of thousands of people and ruined even more lives. And he can never know that the woman he thinks he loves, is merely the shell of a girl. He tells her to make a choice, right here and now. Either open up to him, or let him go. A single tear falls from her eye as she watches his figure fade from her sight. She knows she will never see him again, and she decides it's better this way.

_I admit, I am in and out of my head_

_Don't listen to a single word I've said_

_Just hear me out before you run away_

_'Cause I can't take this pain_

_I hate you, don't leave me_

_I hate you, please love me_


End file.
